Watch out, ladies
By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu
In a not-so-far-away land, dubbed the “Pad,” there slept many Unitrans buses through the night. Not a single bus was stirring, not even the Z line (he’s a heavy sleeper).
You see, these buses need their sleep because their days start bright and early. To make matters worse, they have to spend over 12 hours a day carting around smelly undergraduate students. So, the least we can do is let them get some beauty sleep.
One morning, the buses woke to the sound of an alarm, which startled everyone and prompted them to get ready for the day. The buses entered their rhythm as they whirred to life and organized themselves into their assigned bus lines. The Memorial Union (MU) buses tend to stick together away from the Silo buses, since they see each other most often. Then, they all filed into line and sped off on their routes.
It seemed like every other day to the buses, but they were in for a surprise — some may say a bombshell. Today was the unveiling of the Yolobus route addition to the Silo. This bus was set to travel between the Silo and the UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento. In comparison to the Unitrans routes, this was way more dangerous and exciting.
When the Silo buses rolled onto campus, they were astonished to see a bright, shiny, blue relative at their bus stop. The Yolobus was parked, standing in all his glory, with a brand-new sign marking his spot. The Silo buses halted in their tracks to admire this newcomer. The Yolobus stood regally and didn’t even turn his wheels to acknowledge the Unitrans buses arriving. He didn’t care.
The natural leader of the Silo buses, the J line, stood tall at the front of the fleet of buses to assess the new arrival. The Yolobus was navy blue, with tinted windows and an adult driver. Much more dignified than the Unitrans accommodations. The Yolobus knew this, too, because he didn’t care to give the Unitrans buses a glance. Not even the J.
This angered the J, because he was used to a certain level of respect from his fellow buses. In his day-to-day life, the J faces a high amount of foot traffic and stress from undergraduate students; However, it’s all worth it because he gets to come home to the Pad and get some respect from his bus family. So, this new Yolobus was ruining things for his ego.
Since the Yolobus wasn’t acknowledging any of the buses, everyone filed into position, keeping one eye turned toward the Yolobus to monitor the situation. This was a quiet day, because everyone was afraid to say something. So, the Unitrans buses entered their driving rhythm and set out to complete the noble job of transporting thousands of students around Davis, California.
Later that night at the Pad, everyone was talking about the new arrival, without worrying about being overheard.
“The girls are obsessed with the Yolobus!” one of my sources at the Pad said. “They’re calling him Yolo.”
You heard it here first. Yolobus is the bad boy on campus. He’s different, misunderstood and all of the girls are going to fix him.
Written by: Allison Keleher — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
