Save us from the podcasting pandemic
By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeman@ucdavis.edu
Every day, millions of unassuming victims find themselves struck by the urge to start a podcast. Many resist the call, but in far too many cases — especially for men in their 20s and 30s — we see them giving into that seemingly harmless temptation. Those with larger egos are especially at risk.
The result? A podcasting pandemic.
The infection can even reach friend groups, in what researchers are calling a modern epidemic hysteria. Imagine those medieval crowds that collectively couldn’t stop dancing. Everything starts out normally: good conversation and a round of laughter. Then, a lull, where the quiet, unassuming suggestion takes root: “We should start a podcast.” It almost always seems like a good idea.
This idea can be triggered by thoughts like, “The people need to hear our take on who would win in a fight between all of the Pokémon and a billion lions” or preceded by the collective thought, “We’re so entertaining!”
And from there it spirals.
There’s simply so much to share! A take no one has heard about the economy in a spot-on RuPaul impression, debates on whether water is wet, a completely unbiased report on why that backstabbing flake Jennifer was kicked out of the friend group, a man’s take on womanhood — those infected are taken by the idea that the world NEEDS this.
Take my good friend’s ex-boyfriend’s podcast, one of many creatively named “The Daily Sip.” Tragically, all of the episodes have recently been taken off of Spotify, but I’ll paint you a picture. Two hours of unedited audio content where four people (which is way too many people for a podcast, by the way) talk into a singular microphone about people you’ve never met — unless you happen to be a graduate of Glenbard High School.
But what does a podcast have that a regular conversation doesn’t? An audience and a digital footprint? Many podcasting hobbyists seem unaware that their coworkers and exes can find their opinions on what really counts as cheating, deeply researched and completely unbiased takes on why women won’t date nice men or why the Rizzler is “falling off.”
What happened to journaling? And to the “alpha males”: Is it not manly enough to journal? Find a nice manly pen and put the microphone down; if you’re going to be a misogynist, you can at least keep that to yourself.
It seems like there are too many cases where podcasts have replaced the age-old practice of keeping thoughts to yourself with conversations in a glass display, screaming into the void and posting it online.
I’m strong enough to admit: I’m not immune to the urge — writing for the newspaper is actually my attempt to stave off the temptation. But even worse than that? I actually listen to podcasts.
I know, I know, I’m only enabling this epidemic. But there are, in fact, good podcasts. While dangerously contagious, there are a few cases where the podcasting urge strikes someone with talent, or a duo with chemistry.
A good podcast can have valuable insights and thoughtful commentary. It makes you giggle! But outnumbering clever podcasts like “Talk Nasty to Me” and “You’re Wrong About” is an oversaturation of men in baseball caps expressing their completely “original” takes on the true alpha males or friends in basements reading other people’s X posts out loud.
Podcasting is dangerous. It’s an indulgence of the ego, a temptingly easy outlet and — every once and a while — it’s successful. Maybe it’s worth sifting through the grime to find the gold, but in the meantime, if you find yourself thinking of starting a podcast? Try journaling first.
Written by: Madison Seeman –– meseeman@ucdavis.edu
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
