The paradoxical burden and beauty of femininity
By NEVAEH KARRAKER — nakarraker@ucdavis.edu
Approximately one in three women globally have experienced some form of sexual assault or abuse in their lifetime (not including sexual harassment), according to the World Health Organization and the United Nations Women. Women make up the majority of the population of domestic violence or rape victims, while men are usually the perpetrators.
For years, the fact that women have been reduced to sexual objects or profitable entities has been glossed over by culture. It’s a luxury for us to feel safe walking alone at night — to be unconcerned for our well-being when choosing a romantic partner and to make platonic male friends with ease.
While it is the 21st century and women have the right to vote, the institutional framework of society has hardly progressed when it comes to earning an education and avoiding being scorned if marriage and childbirth is not our top priority.
The odds seem to always be stacked against women when it comes to clothing, education, relationships and even basic health. There are isolating standards, like the lack of pockets in women’s clothing — omitted in order to accentuate their silhouettes and simultaneously encourage the purchase of accessories beginning in the 1950s — and the shaving expectations created as a Gillette marketing strategy. In terms of health, examples include the “pink tax” for essential feminine hygiene products, car safety features based on typical male anatomy, physicians repeatedly ignoring serious symptoms and more research being conducted on male baldness (an inconsequential condition in men) than endometriosis (a highly serious condition in women): These are just a few of the many shocking instances of this double standard.
A huge contribution to this undermining of feminine issues is the societal emphasis on gender roles, which is imparted on most of us from childhood. In an attempt to implement equality, oftentimes extremes are taken. There has yet to be a balance for healthy patriarchy and humble femininity, which has resulted in a surge of toxic masculinity, the coddling of violent young men and the normalization of women overly-sexualizing themselves.
Femininity is not just about being delicate and pretty, but the personhood bestowed to women. It is believed that Eve was created from Adam’s rib, implying that despite the beautiful distinctions between men and women, they both have equal value, as value is not determined by order of creation. The divine beauty of women points beyond themselves instead of towards themselves; it is not vanity or pride, but an effortless display of nurturing and powerful compassion.
It’s these inherent qualities that make a traditional family flourish. Choosing such a life is not oppressive; In fact, true feminism is about the freedom to decide whether or not to pursue it. This design demonstrates a deep harmony between the sexes. Women embody immanence — flipping the ordinary with newfound love and passion — while men embody transcendence through ambitious pursuit and leadership. This does not mean one sex can’t harbor characteristics of the other — women can also be zealous and men can also be tender — but the neurological components are sacredly complimentary.
This is often reflected in the relationships we have with one another — platonic and romantic. There is one main thing that we desire to fulfill in our lifetimes: connection with others. Women do not need men, but it is a blessing to have a partner and an even greater blessing to have a friend.
When you’re young and have a crush, as a girl you would usually speak to your girl friends, as they understand and can give you advice. As you age, it’s important to maintain friendships like that with the same sex so you can continue to guide and support each other.
Now, this does not mean men and women are incapable of having healthy friendships. But the needs of each other don’t always overlap outside of intimacy; love is expressed in different ways. As a result, the contrasting displays of affection and the way it’s perceived clashes, leading to unfavorable misunderstandings about intentions. Women are affectionate with one another in a way that men often are not, and men are valiant in a way that women often are not. This diversity should be accepted and praised, as it allows for profound bonds.
Overall, even with so much oppression against women, there is something so alluring and special about femininity. We are generous yet self-sufficient, delicate yet voracious, graceful yet demanding, passionate yet regulated and the faintest things unspoken — it can only be experienced and described as “girlhood.”
I implore you to fully embrace your masculinity or femininity. It is not something to be ashamed of or concealed, it is certainly not just a reflection of objectified genitals; Rather, it’s a precious quality that should be handled with such care, as it adds to the intricate, colorful mosaic of life.
Written by: Nevaeh Karraker—nakarraker@ucdavis.edu
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