Ingest gossip cautiously
By ABHINAYA KASAGANI — akasagani@ucdavis.edu
For years, I have shirked participating in gossip, believing it to be the product of idleness. Gossip has always felt invasive, but its modern vilification led me to reconsider why exactly I react so poorly to the spread of information, despite it remaining one of the few primal tendencies we have retained socially. Recently, Mindy Seu’s interview on Kareem Rahma’s “Subway Takes” prompted me to look more closely at why I judge gossip (and those who partake in it) so harshly.
In 2018, Silvia Federici, a Marxist feminist scholar, tracked the etymology of the term “gossip.” Her research found that gossip, which once originated to empower women, ultimately shifted to usurp their power. The word “gossip” — derived from the Old English term “godsibb” meaning “godparent” — came to refer to female friends who were invited to attend a birth, and later shifted to ‘anyone engaging in familiar or idle talk.’” In Federici’s essay, “Witches, Witch-hunting, and Women,” she discussed how women spoke less as a result of the rise of patriarchy as the dominant order.
Rooted in misogyny, then, the independence and social strength that women gained from gossiping with each other began to threaten the proportionate power of their male counterparts. During that time, the rhetoric of unemployment (which I previously associated with habitual gossip) automatically included women. Men desired female subservience, conscripting them into the role of “gossips” if they felt threatened in their positions of power.
Mindy Seu, American designer, researcher and technologist, quite poignantly noted this phenomena in her episode on “Subway Takes.”
“One man’s s*** talk is another woman’s safety net!” Seu wrote.
Seu understood gossip to be an information system that once mobilized women and allowed them to manage their domestic affairs effectively. In her talk, she encouraged us to participate in gossip even more than we already do, imploring us to think of it like whistleblowing: gossip is necessary for exposing social crime. The #MeToo movement — originating from the “whisper network” — is a prime example of the necessary power of gossip, contributing to the rise of women speaking up without fear of retaliation.
Gossip has always been positioned as crass and unbecoming, which we engage in with such frequency that it now requires slang. One claims to be “spilling the goss,” “the tea” or “the beans.” The entire concept of spillage, which we frequently use as a metaphor in this context, seems messy. Posturing gossip as “unwanted” reinforces the belief that disclosure of information is negative and untoward.
Finding the line between healthy and unhealthy gossip, however, can be tricky. An experiment conducted by psychologist Terence Dores Cruz noted how gossipers felt more inclined to pass on true information when both parties moved in different circles. When gossipers had a conflict with the other party, they tended to be self-serving, and their “gossip was less trustworthy,” according to Cruz.
Although gossip can serve to democratize information, it still requires rules. The practice itself isn’t necessarily undemocratic or emancipatory, but instead is the iron fist deciding who has a voice and when. To prevent distrust within relationships, we must always evaluate whether a secret is to be kept or whether it is necessary information to disclose. Irresponsibly recounting another’s story for no collective gain cannot serve as a relational tool. Inversely, shielding information from another under the guise of keeping beneficial insight for yourself — in other words, “gatekeeping” — is equally harmful.
Ultimately, defining gossip for yourself is important; the extent to which you would like to engage with it or integrate it into your life might vary. While the practice of gossip can be a useful network that works to inform people about their world, it remains a resource that we are underusing, and one that we must ensure is not misused. Vilifying gossip altogether has militaristic origins rooted in power, so “sip the tea” while it’s still hot and offer some to another who needs it. Remember, however, to ingest all gossip cautiously and to always investigate your sources.
Written by: Abhinaya Kasagani— akasagani@ucdavis.edu
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