Is our unbridled criticism just another way we enforce gender essentialism?
By ANJALI IYER — amiyer@ucdavis.edu
Picture this: you’re rushing across campus on your way to class. You adjust your bag and look across the Quad when you happen to spot a “performative male” in the wild — the sight alone provokes an exasperated sigh and accompanying eye roll. Just ahead of you, the mustached male sips a matcha latte and wrangles a hardcover copy of “The Bell Jar” into a tote bag. “Let me guess,” you think to yourself, “He’s 6-foot-1, an empath and a feminist literature enthusiast.”
The term “performative male” emerged in early 2024 and quickly surged into the forefront of the cultural zeitgeist. The conception of the “performative male” was likely inspired by Judith Butler’s theory of gender performativity, first presented in their 1990 book, “Gender Trouble.” However, the Internet’s modern definition of a performative male seems to be along the lines of a man who adopts traditionally feminine fashion choices to promote himself as a feminist without any meaningful action, often done solely for female attention. It’s an overtly negative term — the term “performative” in and of itself accuses these men of failing to actually care for the feminist values that they claim to support and using progressive advocacy as a means to attract women.
Memes aside, the criticism of these men is based on the observation of prevalent cultural phenomena. After the “#MeToo” movement, there emerged a pattern of performative activism by some men who viewed being a feminist as a means to a more insidious end. They saw how aligning themselves with feminist and leftist political views helped them gain proximity to women around them, so they began to wield facades of support for women as a lure for romantic partners.
The rampant criticism of these men stemmed from the fact that the values they promoted seemed rather disingenuous. They didn’t seem to engage in any substantial political activism or work on dismantling their own internal misogyny. In a tumultuous dating world where many men masquerade as feminists without actually caring about women’s issues, it’s understandable that women tend to be wary of men who parade around wearing pearls and quoting Sylvia Plath as though it’s an act of revolution. When the “performative male” discourse first spread across social media, I happily contributed to the fervent criticism of these men. However, my feelings soon evolved.
Just as I was about to exit Instagram one afternoon, I came across a reel of a man filming himself making matcha for his friends. He had the whole kit: a wooden whisk, a ceramic bowl and expensive ceremonial-grade matcha to top it all off. As I expected, the comments were ruthlessly making fun of his “performative” love for the drink, which is commonly associated with performative male activism. The sole comment in his defense pointed out that the man was, in fact, Asian, and called out other commenters for calling his habit “performative” when it was simply an aspect of his culture. Reading it prompted me to take a step back from the satisfaction of watching the Internet make fun of a “performative male” and rethink our societal scrutiny of the trend.
At its core, the “performative male” aesthetic is only subversive because it entails clothes and interests that contrast societal expectations of hyper-masculinity. I feel as though the discourse around it has almost come full circle, with people criticizing men who adopt a more feminine aesthetic without any real knowledge of their political opinions. This kind of policing reflects the ways in which masculine gender roles are thrust upon men by our patriarchal society; the distinction lies with the fact that critiques on “performative males” are motivated by social media’s obsession with authenticity, while patriarchal forces assert considerably more dangerous and insidious standards on men.
To some degree, this conversation has cast a widespread attack on men who don’t conform to society’s preferred version of gender expression. While the term “performative male” was born out of a genuine concern for women who fall for men under false pretenses, perhaps it’s descended into enforcing similar social codes as those perpetuated by the very patriarchy we wish to avoid.
The “performative male” discourse reveals yet another way in which men are pressured to behave. In no way is the plight of the “performative male” comparable to that of women in an oppressive patriarchal society, but many criticisms of the performative male derive from society’s same hatred of femininity.
For the most part, I agree that it’s impossible to gauge if a man’s supposed feminism is sincere without further observing his behavior. Furthermore, it’s infuriating to see men be praised for wearing a skirt and reading Bell Hooks whilst benefitting from the same patriarchy that oppresses the women around them doing the same things. However, it’s important to distinguish between men who read feminist literature in private and those who parade around with museum tote bags for the sole purpose of attracting female attention. It’s time we find a balance between calling out male manipulators and contributing to the conformist pipeline.
Written by: Anjali Iyer — amiyer@ucdavis.edu
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