Opinion

uthor's Note: This week's column is written from the perspective of George W. Bush if he had his own video in the 'Unforgivable' series on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, go check it out or this column will make zero sense to you.

I went to Washington yesterday to get the presidency for me and my fam. Ize gonna steal it. I ain't have no votes.

What do Britney Spears, Facebook stalking, Girl Scout cookies and Perez Hilton all have in common? They are guilty pleasures - things you would rather not admit enjoying, yet can't help but love.

I was watching "The Bachelor" the other night when I realized that this show is my guilty pleasure. For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 7 years, don't own a TV or simply have good taste, let me explain to you the beauty of this show.

A strange event is happening. The most powerful person on the planet for the last eight years has seemed almost powerless for a while now. President George W. Bush is almost an afterthought. He has been conspicuous by his absence. In truth, he has become irrelevant.

Soldiers of war are not psychopathic killers - they are victims of robbery, the robbery of a human quality called empathy.

With certain external forces, we have the ability to lose this basic emotion.

Analyzing the Israel and Gaza conflict, I realized that the loss of empathy is the underlying cause of the controversy. My objective in this column is not to prove which side is the victim or aggressor, but to share some of my thoughts on why I think there is such a polarization of opinions in the first place.

The Recording Industry Association of America, in an attempt to further expand its influence in the world of illegal file sharing, has decided not to file lawsuits en masse against illegal file sharers. Instead, the RIAA will work closely with Internet service providers and encourage them to increase their own role in protecting music copyrights.

Although I was dead-set on writing about butterflies and daisies this week, my Johnny-Depp-with-a-beard look-alike editor kindly pointed out that there is far more to a douchebag than the mere fact that they are a douchebag, as I had outlined last week.

And that's when my last two brain cells started thinking. What makes a douchebag such a douchebag? How do you deal with said douchebags?

On Saturday December 6th 2008, 127 students from 8 different fraternities and 4 different sororities came out and cleaned up UC Davis. In a partnership between the UC Davis Interfraternity Council, Panhellenic Council, and R4 Recycling Program this event oversaw the collection of 65 bags of material (27 bags of trash, 20 bags of recycling, and 18 bags of compost), totaling 654.6 pounds of material (311.8 lbs. of trash, 167.2 lbs. of recycling, and 175.6 lbs. of compost). The event started in the Arboretum and covered the entire campus. This was an incredible, collaborative effort that demonstrated the pride that we UC Davis students and we Greeks take in our campus and in our environment.

It's a simple enough concept: use the human body's own potential to renew itself to turn victims of degenerative mental and physical disease into happy and healthy outpatients.

I'm talking of course about stem cell research. Despite vastly open-ended applications for stem cells, the practice is burdened to a standstill due to unfortunate controversy. Cries come from the pro-life movement that geneticists are in fact baby-butchers, violating the rights of every zygote to enjoy SCHIP benefits, pay taxes and vote.

Sometimes at 2 a.m. more is lost than an opportunity to buy beer. Early in the morning on New Year's day in Oakland, of all places, a man named Oscar Grant was shot and killed at the Fruitvale BART station by BART police. Beside the fact that I was at that station 15 minutes before this shooting, there are a couple things you should know about the situation:

Why is it that the moment you start settling in with somebody that you're dating, they start unleashing an inordinate amount of unknown and unattractive characteristics all of a sudden? I know both girls and guys have experienced this common phenomenon, but it's still surprising just how downhill people can go once that whole "honeymoon period" of dating is over.

The basic principles of banking have always been a bit fuzzy to me. For almost two years, I struggled with the concept of a ledger - desperately trying to collect receipts, remember specific amounts and record it all before things got too out of hand.

Unfortunately, even if I was able to successfully remember every withdrawal from my account, I was forced to rely on math skills that made even the most dimwitted calculus student look like Albert Einstein in comparison. As a result, I often resorted to breaking the proverbial laws of banking, and "writing checks my ass couldn't cash."

Israel is fighting a Hydra.

In Greek mythology, the Hydra was an enormous, serpent-like creature with multiple heads that could not be defeated by conventional means; if a would-be hero severed one of the heads, two more would sprout, strengthening the beast. The harder someone tried to destroy the beast, the more dangerous it became.

The unhealthy alcohol-caffeine hybrid drink, Sparks, is about to lose its energy. After attorneys general from several states bullied MillerCoors, Sparks' manufacturer, into halting production, several questions remain.

Free lift tickets. Two free season passes to Sugar Bowl. Free snowboard jackets, boots and apparel. A body-painting contest. A Greek attendance competition. The chance to be on television.

That's what it took to get a crowd of 2,378 to come to the Pavilion on Saturday to watch the UC Davis men's basketball team host Big West Conference foe Long Beach State.

I'm not sure whether this list entry was prompted by four of the most interesting classes I've taken at Davis all occurring simultaneously or whether it was because of my embarrassing realization that I had never before completed every word of reading assigned to me during the week it was assigned.