My column thus far has dealt with adult issues that include, but are not limited, to the power of stereotypes, drug use and sexual maturation. Today, we’ll take a step back from the ‘R’ rated movies and look at Brad Bird’s 1999 The Iron Giant. I have seen this film twice in my life — once as a thumb-sucking five year old, the other as a head-in-the-clouds college student. I’ve got to say, the movie got my tears a-flowin’. This came mainly as a result of its surprisingly candid look at the power of death in childhood, themes regarding the importance of self-determinism and inner peace, which help demonstrate one of the most illustrious themes in coming of age: the wisdom of children.

But how can children be wise, Eli? Good question. The only wise thing I could tell you as a youngling would be to avoid girls and, in turn, the scourge of cooties. I kid (pun definitely intended). Kids seem to have a mind that while not fully abstracted is certainly adept to understanding certain moral truths. In The Iron Giant, our praise goes to nine-year-old Hogarth Hughes. When the boy’s alliterative name is found at the scene of an investigation, Hogarth is put under the eyes of evil government agent Kent Mansley.

Through the course of the film, Hogarth develops a friendship with the eponymous Iron Giant. In a sense, the giant is a towering and metallic Baby Huey — clumsy and naive. The giant’s coming of age results directly from the wisdom Hogarth imparts to it. Above all else, the message that “You are who you choose to be” is what the giant learns from Hogarth. His philosophy helps the giant attain his greatest feat: saving an entire town from a nuclear holocaust through self-destruction. The giant’s final wish is to be “Superman.”

Growing up we don’t often find ourselves in movie moments like this, where all of our beliefs and desires can be reduced to one defining action. Aging is a process in which these ideas of self constantly evolve. Childhood provides a grain of salt to the idea that we may be completely different when we reach maturity. For example, it’s a pretty widely-held truth that murder is wrong. Most people know this at all stages in life. So the challenge then is determining what other moral truths are worth holding on to.

It may be more than you think. If we can accredit children to having a degree of wisdom, then we can subsequently agree that it may be in our benefit to follow beliefs that we held to be true in childhood. American culture highly values the giant’s sacrifice because it simultaneously puts the individual before and behind the good of the group. Before in the sense that it was sacrificing one for the whole. Behind in that it represented the giant’s self-fulfillment to exhibit superhero qualities.

Striking this balance in any age would be a remarkable accomplishment. It requires a conscious desire to do good by self and others. Often, and especially in adolescence, we trade one for another. Our self-serving actions can come to be detrimental to others. Alternately, we may help someone for the wrong reasons, something that does not go far to improving self-esteem. Ultimately, we have to truly ask ourselves who we want to be. Guess when these feelings are sharpest.

Failing to answer this question is surprisingly easy. Loosey goosey answers fall to the wayside quickly. Are you worried yet? You should be. Don’t worry, you’ve got a paranoid, anxious and self-deprecating 18 year old talking you through the process. But maybe I find that giving myself those labels helps me determine what I want for myself. Looking at yourself honestly is a great way of determining faults and ways to change. Humor is always welcome; I for one could not get by if I did not have daily har-hars at my own expense.

We have not extrapolated ideas too far from that core message of The Iron Giant. The argument for honest self introspection is associative — drawn from the movie and put into an age appropriate context. What we can learn from a clinking assemblage of nuts and bolts is truly remarkable, and a testament to tender writing and direction. It would be remiss for me to not close with a joke. So, in good form: What would one call an iron cat? A Fe-line.

To congratulate ELI FLESCH on that indubitably incredible pun, you can reach him at ekflesch@ucdavis.net or tweet him @eliflesch.

As many of you have probably heard, there was a recent controversy surrounding a planned but canceled Cinco de Mayo party by CoHo employees that turned into a huge uproar here at UC Davis. This is not the first time something like this has happened; according to some people who have been on campus longer than I have, the usual protocol is to quietly reprimand people who do such culturally insensitive acts for fun rather than out them in public. I understand that perhaps people think that quiet discipline is not enough and everyone needs to know that such acts are not okay; the result this time may have led to unintended consequences that also revealed other kinds of unsavory attitudes on campus.

First of all, I want to say that I realize that Cinco de Mayo is primarily a Mexican-American and Northern Mexican holiday brought over to the United States to celebrate cultural roots by Mexican-Americans, and has served as an important symbol of cultural unity. We also need to realize that issues surrounding undocumented immigrants from Latin America and border patrol are serious, and one should be very cautious and mindful when applying humor to an issue that involves a lot of violence and racism (but humor has been used to examine the issue and as a coping mechanism).

While I agree that the event planned and similar events are inconsiderate, I think that it has its own complexities. From what I understand, the donning of costumes that are caricatures of Mexicans seems to be a common way that people celebrate Cinco de Mayo in America, especially in colleges when it involves heavy drinking (or so I have been told). Therefore, people who engage in such activities may view it as tradition or normal. Even some Mexican Americans I have spoken to engage in these activities, not because they hate their culture but because they interpret these activities in a different light. The latter case highlights that not everyone in a single ethnic group agrees on what is offensive and what is not.

According to some people I have talked to about the issue, the concern for personal safety by CoHo staff was raised in the last ASUCD senate meeting, but not much response was given. There are people I have talked to who wondered if the protests were a bit too much, but I am personally unsure about that. There was word of some staff members who have been threatened, insulted on the bus and even had private and personal information leaked. This is a behavior that is often seen online with the extremists among social justice activist groups; social networking sites like Tumblr and LiveJournal are notorious for it. Thankfully most activists for equality here at UC Davis are polite and rational, but it is still disturbing to think that some harmful extremist behavior could be here as well.

It is sad that this behavior is seen in our fellow Aggies, if this is indeed happening. This is not how activism of any kind should be conducted and is an example of how sometimes people can become the very thing they oppose. Some have even said online that the CoHo staff shouldn’t complain because minorities face this kind of harassment every day and they deserve it. Nobody deserves to be bullied, and quite frankly this assumes that none of the CoHo staff are minorities themselves, and that they have never faced discrimination.

Violence only begets violence. When people are caught in the zeal of their activism they easily become extremists and can become worse than the people they oppose. We need to be reminded about the value of non-violence, peace and forgiveness for the sake of everyone including ourselves. In order to have any meaningful dialogue and discussion about these issues we need to be mindful about those who are violent or insensitive on both sides of the issue and look where we (or at least most of us) can agree on common ground. I recognize that not everyone who opposes what the CoHo staff were trying to do are violent and hateful toward them, but we need to recognize and stop any of this kind of extremist behavior, especially when done in the name of social equality.

About six months ago, I moved into a cooperative community and I couldn’t be more thankful. Sure, I’m living with 16 people in one house and sometimes I camp at the library to get a breather, but all these eccentric people have taught me quite a bit.

Some of their lessons seem relatively simple: how to fry an egg, what goes/doesn’t go into compost and how to make beans (Hint: soak them. Forever.). However, while I’ve learned heaps of useful life skills like cooking, the most valuable lesson I believe I’ve learned is how to communicate.

It sounds somewhat simple. Communicating is just speaking, right? Saying what’s on your mind? It’s a little more than that, if you ask me. My favorite definition, courtesy of the ever-fantastic Oxford English Dictionary, is as follows: an “interchange of speech, conferring, discussion, debate; an instance of this, a conversation, a conference.” This definition manages to capture the interactive bit of communicating that I’ve come to know and respect. Living in a co-op has showed me that, in order to effectively communicate my feelings, needs and desires, I need to start a conversation and not just make orders or demands. Instead, I need to find a way to open the discussion.

Let me try to provide an example of communication as I’ve come to understand it.

Person A (we’ll call them…Claire) sees that Person B (Gerald) has been drinking the milk she bought a few days ago that Claire was saving for yummy breakfast granola with diced almonds and dried cranberries. If Claire were to ineffectively communicate her distress at this situation she might say something along the lines of, “YOU! Gerald! You drank my cream on top, organic, glass-bottled milk! You awful annoying person, you!” This is an accusatory statement that may cause Gerald to be defensive or retaliate. Claire’s accusation doesn’t inform Gerald of why it’s an issue, or help fix the problem in the future.

A more effective way of communicating Claire’s distress might be, “Gerald, I noticed you drank some of my milk. Could you ask to use some in the future? I hoped to have it with my breakfast.” This is a much more polite, less accusatory comment, and the question has the potential to open a discussion. Maybe Gerald was extra super hungry and is willing to remedy the situation somehow. Gerald could respond, “Sure. I was starving before class. I’ll buy you some more milk.”

In weekly house meetings at the Tri Co-ops, we encourage the second style of communication. It is applicable to something as simple as milk or as complex as our applicant process. Since discussing applicants requires talking about a specific person, we have to be careful not to gossip, be rude or make overly personal comments. Sometimes, when emotions get in the way and hinder communication, a facilitator can help smooth things out. The facilitator’s goal is to keep the conversation moving and productive so when someone gets a filibuster going, such as a long summary of something already said, the facilitator can step in, ask for clarification/encourage a conclusion and make sure the comments lead to further discussion. However, emotions and feelings are completely valid and can lead to great discussions, regardless of the potentially fragile topics they touch upon.

With that in mind, patience, open-mindedness, a willingness to compromise and honesty are the aspects of communication that I see as most important in the cooperative community that I’m a part of. Being honest with others leads to fewer arguments and better solutions because problems are addressed before they blow up, and all the issues are on the table at once. With everything out in the open like that, there are, admittedly, personal sensitivities that come up, so patience, compromise and understanding are valuable once open communication is established.

Now that I’ve established that communication is less about speaking and more about understanding and respect, I encourage you to give it a go. Try to use a “when…I feel…” statement, maybe just once. Yeah, it’s a tad cheesy but it could be something as simple as “when you suggest I do this, I feel like a kindergartener.”

Okay. Fair. I can accept that.

Cry over spilled milk with ISABEL MONIZ at irmoniz@ucdavis.edu.