Opinion

To anyone who has ever doubted the rationality and humanity of the American political system, I give your suspicions credence: Prop 8. On Nov. 5, California law began enforcing discriminatory marriage practices; a second class of citizens was selected for institutionalized prejudice by a slim margin of the electorate.

It's past three o'clock in the morning. A combination of caffeine, prescription drugs and sheer willpower has kept me up until now. I have this creepy voice on my Mac that announces the time every hour on the hour. It's like Steven Hawking sneaks up on me every 60 minutes and, for lack of a better term, whispers in my ear. I shudder.

The role of an ASUCD senator is to monitor student activities and services, oversee the budget, initiate new projects and - at the very least - attend weekly Senate meetings and hold office hours.

Unless, of course, your name is Chad Roberts.

The Davis Bike Church could not find salvation, as university administrators elected to evict the bicycle co-op from the Domes sustainable living area last month.

The university told the Bike Church this summer that it must get its facilities up to code before facing an Oct. 1 inspection. Despite rousing efforts by Bike Church ministers and members of the community to do just that, the Department of Student Housing decided to forgo their assessment of the facility after learning the church did not meet the campus fire code.

President-elect Barack Obama accomplished a great feat when he won the election two weeks ago, but when he assumes power on January 20, 2009, he will face a herculean task. At the top of his list will be the economy and the Terror Wars; not to mention making his election-winning promise of change a reality. Obama's situation parallels President Franklin D. Roosevelt's, who, like Obama, inspired as much fear in conservatives as he did hope in the rest of the world.

Being an English major of mediocre ability, I have spent many a'nights staying up and writing thousands of last-minute essays - all while cursing the gods of academia for my procrastination and thinking, "What the f*ck have I been doing with my time!?" (Well, I suppose that one night where I had to steam iron all my underwear could have waited…)

Over the past two weeks, the American media has spent countless hours discussing the unprecedented election of Barack Obama. While Obama's status as the first African American to be elected to the office of president will certainly solidify his place in American history, his victory also signifies a drastic change in the political attitude of the American people.

For the first 18 years of my life, I lived in one world. A simple, stable world defined by family and childhood friends, carefully planned activities and kind of a soothing predictability. When I left home and came to Davis, my personal solar system suddenly seemed to expand, and there were other unexplored worlds that became very important to me.

Back due to popular demand and an absence of Rob Olson is a column made up of assorted thoughts I've had over the past couple weeks. The voter turnout for the ASUCD election was slightly higher than usual, in large part due to the vigorous efforts of Adam Thongsavat and the Elections Committee. One wonders how high voter turnout would have been if the candidates had expended the same amount of effort campaigning as candidates in previous elections.

If you give a financial institution a federal guarantee, they're going to ask for a loan.

When you give them the loan, they probably won't ask you for, but will take anyway, a half million dollar associate's retreat to one of the most lavish resorts in the country to go golfing and spend $150,000 on food, $10,000 on liquor and $23,000 on happy endings.

When they're finished, they'll ask for a napkin.

I was at my internship with my first-grade class the other day (because my life now apparently revolves around tiny people who haven't yet grasped the concept of sarcasm), and I heard the teacher bring up an interesting topic.

Are you male? Do you watch porn? If your answers to these questions are "yes" and "fuck yes" respectively, you are more likely to objectify women. I am not assuming you do, but the likelihood is strong. The likelihood is correlated with how frequently you watch porn and how frequently your viewings are followed by an orgasm.

In many ways, Senator Barack Obama's recent triumph radically altered much of the political and electoral landscape. Most importantly, it signals the passing of a prominent school of thought, displaced by another.

Admit it, you're guilty of procrastination. Most of us are. If you really, truly aren't, then you must be one of those sick people who has a planner that they carry around everywhere with little neon-colored Post-Its sticking out of the edges, detailing your life from the moment you step outside of your front door to the time you say your last Hail Mary and hop into bed. You start drafting your papers a week before they're due and you can always be counted on to have done the readings before class.

Since Wednesday morning, UC Davis undergraduate students have been able to log on to elections.ucdavis.edu to cast their ballot for ASUCD Senate candidates. Senate elections take place every fall and winter quarter to determine the makeup of the 12-member body that is responsible for approving the association's $10.7 million budget, initiating new projects and monitoring ASUCD units such as the Coffee House and Unitrans. Students have until Friday at 8 a.m. to make their selections.