This quarter has taught me a lot about mental health, inside and outside of writing this column. One thing I learned is that other people are quite willing to share their experiences with things from depression to psychosis. Those talks were refreshing and comforting. Another thing I learned is that mental health is not an obstacle or handicap that impinges on an otherwise unimpeded life, but is only one handicap of many in a life full of obstacles. In other words, mental health is difficult to navigate because life is difficult to navigate. I think the most important thing that can be taken out of that second lesson is that there is really no us or them. We’re all caught in life.

Unfortunately, a lot of conversations I had and little theories I had on life didn’t make it into these columns. Also, while I hope that I have shared some of myself with readers, a lot of the things I dealt with I simply couldn’t figure out how to make readable. For this reason, I hope it won’t be minded that I finish this column with poetry instead of prose – in the hopes that some bit of truth or candor that I couldn’t extract into my columns can be gleaned. That being said, I have no experience in writing  good poetry, so this is the other kind. While it may seem random (it is stream-of-consciousness), I hope that you can see past my lack of skill to the place I’m coming from.

Let me add, too, a BIG thank you to my editors, copy chief, and anyone else involved in publishing of this column. Also, thank you to Chris Le for sacrificing his lunch break so that I could interview him (even if I don’t find a way to use that material in the future, I appreciated our talk). Thanks to those of you who emailed me with feedback, it was all great stuff. And thank you to Carissa Adams, who convinced me (though without knowing it) to submit an entry to The Aggie Opinion column last quarter.

OK:

Tired and late

Glancing at the silhouette of fear

White as the moon, almost full too

For the first time in this year

Waited for the angels

and not angels came

Yet nor devils

left with feeling in head

As if to see a big bang

and hear a big boom

but no bullet hit

somehow dodged that doom

You’re staring at me with those silent eyes

shut wide shouting that you know

that I would go this route (save face)

you’re as clueless as unsettled snow

everything’s inside, in it’s Wright place

and thyme

Littered like the letters of a language

long forgotten in the mind

of those living

only in dreams to be recalled

that what they sweep up on their front porch is memories

and what they kick up over the graves is just dust

Why do I rhyme about these random things?

because my time, like yours, is valuable

and like everyone on this ball, within it I need my say

We go to college to learn

& we hammer in our hours

and we mistrust those that seek to bend our clock

and so, like you, trying to regulate my moods

writing about these matters of the heart

i’m losing the beat

& all my bloods in my feet

and I move toward anxiety

and away from the lost art

can’t fight this

change this

Push, pull, or rearrange this

Like looking toward the memories of stars

yet only in the direction of blank spaces

scholars roll

with the beatings of knowledge

In the body, wrecked through the days & nights

and in the thoughts that turn minds to puddy

(ours) in their hands

Yet we stand on the shoulders of these goliaths (who enslave us)

& issue our commands

David, dreaming it’s his birthday,

blows out the northern star on his Milky Way (flavored cake)

Now there’s nothing but a

Blown out blank space

a shadow left to play in

you me and everyone we know

Look toward experience the best teacher

With my mind as the sky,

& experience the weather,

I sit and meditate

Finding my resiliency

guiding my intention & awareness

Reducing my mental pneumonia to a common cold

Find the boredom in this data

& the beauty in this boredom

& help us to look out for one another here

On this earth that dreams of stardom

Thank You

PAUL BEREZOVSKY would like to hear your thoughts at pbberezovsky@ucdavis.edu.

Graphic by CA Aggie Graphic Design Team.

Photo by CA Aggie Photo Team.

On March 4, the UC Davis Middle East/South Asian Studies and Jewish Studies programs co-hosted a student panel titled “Anti-Semitism and Islamophobia: The Anatomy of Twin Hatreds” in the Student Community Center Multi-Purpose Room.

The event, moderated by history professor Susan Miller and comparative literature professor Noha Radwan, was held in light of recent campus climate related discussions surrounding Islamophobia and Anti-Semitism. The panel was designed to bring together the university community in discussion about experiences with acts of hate.

Originally scheduled to take place in the SCC Meeting Room D, with a capacity of 90, organizers of the panel moved the event to the SCC Multi-Purpose Room due to a higher-than-expected attendance. Yet, with only 190 seats available for attendees, even the larger room was not sufficient for the crowd of students, faculty, staff and local community members that were interested in attending the event.

The event reached capacity and doors were closed before the starting time of 4 p.m., with over 50 people waiting in a growing line to enter. As per the moderators’ request, a live video stream was not provided for those who could not secure a spot or attend the event at all. No audio or video recording was allowed for those present in the room.

Some professors cancelled class and offered extra credit for students who attended the panel, but many were not let in. The lack of appropriate capacity planning for the event was disappointing to the Editorial Board, as well as for those who were not able to participate in the panel discussion. We believe that all students should have the right to voice their opinions on matters that affect the entire university, and a capacity constraint should not be a reason for hindering a sustained dialogue.

The Editorial Board commends the departments and students involved in the event for taking a step in the right direction to improve campus dialogue regarding Anti-Semitism and Islamophobia. We understand the need and importance of providing forums for the campus community to engage in this discussion.

Many of those that were in attendance at the event felt as though the panel was beneficial in providing an outlet for students to speak about their experiences, while also allowing attendees to understand the concepts and ask relevant questions. The Editorial Board hopes that larger and more accessible events similar to the panel will be planned in upcoming quarters so that this dialogue can be open to the greater campus community.

Graphic by Jennifer Wu.