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Davis

Davis, California

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Humor

Demon King picked the wrong day for world domination

An interview with the devil   By AUDREY ZHANG – aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   A hundred voices cried out in agony. Ash blackened the sky. Sulfur steam burned animals alive...

Campus Tours is locking students into cages for the enjoyment of prospective Aggies

Can I have a bathroom break please?   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   I’m really popular, so I have a lot of friends roaming around campus. Specifically,...

My roommate is buggin’

Where’s my fly swatter?   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Late last night, I was tossing and turning in bed, wishing I could fall asleep. I drank...

Seniors disappointed at lack of freshmen accidents

Is this wheelie happening?!   By AUDREY ZHANG – aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   What used to be a beloved pastime is now in danger of dying out. Seniors armed with...

Inflation has left the squirrel community in shambles

Please contribute to their GoFundMe   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Lately, the economic and political state of the world has been bleak to say the least....

Petition to replace the Memorial Union with a giant bouncy castle

Sign now!   By AUDREY ZHANG – aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   When was the last time you’ve been inside a monument to human engineering? When was the last time you...

Help: I think I’m possessed by a cow

If you know anything that can help, speak now or forever hold your silence   By MAYA KORNYEYEVA — mkornyeyeva@ucdavis.edu    Look. I know that the following message...

The cows got confused and started mewing instead of mooing

The jawline goes crazy   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    UC Davis is a well-known, acclaimed university with esteemed faculty and plenty of research opportunities. However, it’s...

Meet the UC Davis animals

Audrey’s guide to the critters on campus   By AUDREY ZHANG — aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   The first time I came to UC Davis, a turkey blocked my path to...

A peek into man econ majors’ strange new way of networking

Someone please tell me this happened to them too   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    I recently changed my major to managerial economics with an accounting minor,...

A love letter

To the man listening to music without headphones   By AUDREY ZHANG — aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   I fell for you at first sound. The moment I saw you, ears...

Gary May should ditch the alumni sponsors and hop on TikTok Live

I have a lot of great fundraising ideas   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    My tuition goes up every year, and yet this school is still supposedly...

How I would fight Godzilla and win

One of us is a lethal weapon of mass destruction and the other is Godzilla   By AUDREY ZHANG — aurzhang@ucdavis.edu   I know what you’re thinking. How...

The P and Q bus lines are the high-achieving power couple

They are better than us, I fear   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu    The P and Q are fourth-year undergraduate buses, each with a double major, a...

There’s tension in the Unitrans driver community

In other words: bus beef   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   If you have ever ridden on a Unitrans bus line, you have probably noticed the friendly...