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Friday, December 5, 2025
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Humor

Humor

The sexual tension between the G and J buses is unreal

Seriously, get a garage   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   If you are a resident of North Davis, or have ever lived in North Davis, you have...
Humor

Massive upset at Davis Freshman Draft

The sports teams may not participate    BY ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    The 2023 Freshman Draft, the 37th edition of the University of California, Davis’ annual draft,...
Humor

Why frats should throw parties like bar mitzvahs

L’Chaim, bruh   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Have you ever seen walls sweat? Smelled a B.O. cocktail of 100 people in a single basement? Stepped in...
Humor

I’m inventing a new religion

Donations are accepted and also required   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    A slice of Key Lime pie was left in the refrigerator by my lovely and...
Humor

What I will miss about freshman year

Nothing. Just kidding. But…   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   What felt like a year that would last a lifetime is now coming to an end. My...
Humor

How to hype up future Aggies

Incoming freshmen are the future of America. Hoorah!   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   As this tumultuous school year comes to a close and we shed our...
Humor

Back-up commencement speakers

Help, I’m being replaced   By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    When I heard that comedian and UC Davis alum Hasan Minhaj had been formally invited to speak...
Humor

Davis is the perfect summer vacation spot if you’re an imp from the underworld

“It reminds me of the weather back home,” Satan said   By OWEN RUDERMAN — opinion@theaggie.org   “Summer vacation destination” isn’t usually the first thing that comes to...
Humor

ASUCD hosts do-over ‘Whole Earth-er Festival’

The event invites students to open their hearts, mind and wallets (but mostly their wallets)   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   If you came by the MU...
Humor

Help, I can’t stop procrastinating

 I am suffering from the consequences of my own actions   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   Every week or so, I have a paper to write, a...
Humor

Spring quarter horoscopes

100% guaranteed. You can sue UCD if these don’t come true.    By ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    Aries: Your utilities will be about the same as last...
Humor

UCD to offer Frat Boy classes

So the frat boys can frat better!   By CARMEL RAVIV— craviv@ucdavis.edu   After a superintendent meeting discussing the vitality of fraternities at UC Davis, Chancellor Gary May...
Humor

Love Lab’s safer sex materials now include bubble wrap and knee pads

Yeah, pregnancy is a big deal. But what if I scrape my elbow?   BY ANNABEL MARSHALL — almarshall@ucdavis.edu    What’s the worst thing that could happen as...
Humor

Poser alert: UC Davis freshman claims to like IPAs

He keeps commenting on the “loaminess.” Is that even a thing?   By OWEN RUDERMAN — opinion@theaggie.org   Last night at my party, Brandon Flynn, a freshman in...
Features

Who I’d beat in a fight: UCD edition

Not literally, just metaphysically   By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu   To be honest, I’ve been hitting the gym a lot lately and just PR’d on bench press...
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