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Davis

Davis, California

Monday, December 23, 2024

Humor

Humor: “My doctor said the hospital lacked the resources to test/treat me for coronavirus, so I cut out his tongue!”

Today’s “Rant and Rave” column RANT: To all the doctors. Doctors these days, am I right? What’s the deal with them, anyway? I went to...

Humor: Week eight of quarantine: Everybody has started a podcast

And all of them are bad Eric and Tim erupted into laughter.  “I love when you tell that story man,” Eric said. “You know what, we’re smart...

Humor: To avoid coronavirus election delays, GOP unveils plan to “Vote by Male”

Expanding limited voting opportunity to greater numbers of fewer people The coronavirus pandemic threatens to throw America’s elections into chaos. Luckily, Senate Republicans have proposed...

Humor: Amid pandemic, Brazil loses 7-1 to President Bolsonaro

A defeat to exceed the embarrassment of the nation’s 2014 loss to Germany? At the 2014 FIFA World Cup, Brazil suffered what was arguably the...

Humor: Davis College Republicans upset they can’t host controversial speaker this year

College Democrats upset they can’t protest it In this series of investigative pieces, The California Aggie investigates how the COVID-19 crisis has affected individual lives...

Humor: Letter: Lockdown proves we can live without the arts. Time to defund them for good

It’s nothing personal For over 40 years, I’ve lived happily just off Main Street in an affable, amiable, agreeable little town where the Bible Belt...

Humor: Local man has trouble being outside again

News from the future  “Apple, ” says Alan Chen, gesturing with his finger. “Apple,” agrees Terry Fulton, who points to the card between them. “Good.” I am...

Humor: World’s Pessimists feud over whether coronavirus pandemic is good or bad

The worst is yet to come! Hi, I’m The Aggie’s new correspondent Corey Spondendt, and I’m temporarily filling in for our top reporter R.E. Porter,...

Humor: Trump: “How Vietnam and syphilis prepared me for coronavirus”

Testimony of a testy man being put to the test on testing Fresh out of the fiery, flaming, burning, blazing pizza oven that is the...

Humor: Despite pandemic and ban on sporting events, healthcare industry to continue screwing people over for sport

Giving sports fans life by denying it to others  In an unprecedented several weeks, the coronavirus pandemic has wiped the sports calendar clean. No MLB,...

Humor: Massive military budget and public health cuts to come good in fight against COVID-19

Nation relieved Once upon a time in the United States, the National Security Council had a directorate for global health security and bio-defense, but this...

Humor: U-Haul Self-Storage offers students free deal to self-store themselves in quarantine

“It’s kinda dark in here” As many universities across the country force students to move out of their on-campus housing, an unlikely hero of the...

Humor: Hip Zoomer protesting big corporations while vaping: “Juul is a small corporation”

Irony deficiency threatens youth health At the local headquarters of Big Corporation, hundreds of students gathered yesterday to protest against what we at the News...

Sponsored content: definitely not a Bloomberg ad

Clorox: when dirty politics need cleaning 6:00 a.m. Monday morning. The temporary, futile, nugatory joys of the weekend now seem like a long-lost dream, much...