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Davis

Davis, California

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Humor

Humor: A comprehensive guide to the Petty Gods of Davis

First of all, they don’t like being called petty Now you may know me as a man who loves his peyote, or perhaps as that...

Humor: “Under the Sea, BP & Me” Little Mermaid live action play features WWII chemical barrels

Does she have crabs? The ARC Pavilion will be the first to host part one of the new live-action spectacle “Under the Sea, BP &...

Humor: Young adult pays to work rather than getting paid to work

UC Davis sells student organs A study has revealed that over 35,000 residents in the Davis area are afflicted by a strange mental illness in...

Humor: Chancellor mistakes tuition hike for Davis Hiking Club event

Everybody knows that a tuition hike is just a tuition-themed hike Oftentimes it’s easy to mistake one thing for another. Whether that thing be a...

Humor: This year’s flu created by UC Regents to combat over-enrollment in classes

They’ve done it again This might come as no surprise to you, but it turns out the UC Regents are behind this year’s especially horrible...

CAS and IOC decisions allowing Russian athletes to compete is the right course of action

The Olympic Games should play a part in fostering better relations between Russia and the West The Olympics are here — and with it, yet...

Humor: Y’all got any thoughts on bears?

Positive, negative and even lukewarm thoughts are all acceptable For years, I’ve had the question, “Y’all got any thoughts on bears?” running through my mind...

Humor: Oily scalp? Watch out for the U.S. military

U.S. implements new system of skullfracking The U.S. military’s time-tested approach of invading non-white countries and labeling areas as terrorist hotspots in order to extract...

Humor: Ted Cruz spotted at UC Davis eating baby’s back ribs

A nonfiction autobiographical noir piece A keen observer smelled the scent of barbecue. Noting that there’s no good barbecue in Davis except for maybe Dickie’s,...

Humor: Is eating Tide Pods the new feminism?

Spoiler: Yes With the new craze of eating Tide Pods storming social media, a lot of people have been wondering what it all means. Is...

Humor: “Since when were there so many women?” says man suddenly overwhelmed by women speaking

I had no idea there were so many women Dear Editor-In-Chief of The California Aggie, I have one simple question for the folks who run your...

Humor: The hardest establishments to give up after you’ve decided you’re anti-establishment

You’re going to want to cut up your Starbucks gold member card after this one I’m guessing by now you’ve probably learned about the dangers...

Humor: Man vastly prefers being called “one beefy boy” over “husky”

One bold student is sick of the fashion industry’s labels, is taking a stand When I was a little girl, I was super round. I...

Humor: Jesus Christ cancels resurrection due to protesters

Father and Son talk it out A strange object descending from the sky was initially thought to be Jesus Christ, but after further investigation was...

Humor: Jared Kushner saves legendary weed joke in Twitter drafts, waits for 4/20

Hell ya bro “Bro, check out these socks,” Jared Kushner said to a New York Times reporter as he pointed to his socks. “They’re HUF...