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Davis

Davis, California

Monday, December 23, 2024

Humor

Humor: Study: Humans are not apex predators, but actually parasites

Planned Parenthood kicking it up a notch The Center for Disease Control published a study last week revealing that humans are actually parasites rather than...

Humor: Reasons why a diva like me would never survive on the Yolobus

Yolobus ain’t *BLEEP* but hoes and tricks A great philosopher once said, “A diva is a female version of a hustler.” But I happen to...

Humor: What Davis would look like if we took it and put it somewhere interesting

Could we survive? There is an old saying that goes: If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, did...

Humor: “Winter Quarter is my favorite!” professes one student in a straitjacket

One crazed student is kicked out of school after sharing controversial opinion When the universe created winter quarters, it made sure that, no matter the...

Humor: Hell’s fire fueled by oil, U.S. military invades

We found all the extinct animals, too After the hardly surprising revelation that Hell’s fire is fueled by its vast underground oil reservoirs, the U.S....

Humor: Portal to Hell discovered in Olson Hall, doesn’t cover smell of rancid piss

Demons in classrooms may look like your friends — if you have friends, that is A portal to Hell was discovered in lower Olson last...

Humor: How to become a CoHo Gold Member

With these tips, you’ll be hacking the CoHo in no time! With Winter Quarter off to a quick start, many students are heading back to...

Humor: Applying to things other than college: what to leave off your resume

Not just the obvious stuff As some of you lucky students begin to think about what it’ll be like to escape this problematic sub-system known...

Humor: Research finds that impending nuclear war could actually be good for average already-dead American

Praise be to the Great Button The button sits on the desk of Our Leader, its extremely cliche red glow throbbing in the darkness of...

Humor: Tide Pods voted best snack of Winter Quarter

Forbidden fruit prevails as the students’ favorite food Tide Pods are the great mystery of America, with their delicious-looking colors and forbiddenness. Logically, we all...

Humor: New Year’s resolution: Don’t Listen To The Globalist Agenda Of Making The U.S. Men’s Soccer Team Better

This idea for self-improvement is so cute — and so easy! Perhaps you find yourself in the new year hazily gripping to reality through the...

Humor: Trump to end nut neutrality as eugenics program rolls out

Or does he mean crazy people? After a public spectacle during which President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence openly argued about their perceptions...

Humor: Bitcoin price inflation directly correlated with lack of parking spaces at UC Davis

Get ready to be so rich that you can buy a car and then have nowhere to park it Ever wonder what makes bitcoin tick?...

Humor: The festival of no lights: Celebrating the holidays in maybe the world’s darkest city

Davis’ very own holiday traditions Because the majority of the Davis student population took their finals and immediately escaped as quickly as possible in hopes...

Humor: How winter break drives you to insanity in 48 hours: a memoir

Relaxation and rest come at the cost of craziness and overeating Winter break, at a surface level, appears to be the height of luxury for...