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Davis, California

Monday, December 23, 2024

Humor

My unfortunate nose job

I found a dead squirrel

And much more... Weeks ago, I found a dead squirrel. You may be sitting at home reading this thinking, “This isn’t newsworthy,” or maybe even:...

Pfizer employee accidentally ruins all COVID-19 vaccines

Oh no, this is some really bad news Bad news, guys. A Pfizer employee just ruined all COVID-19 vaccines. You guys know who did it?...

Guest Opinion: Santa is real

Hi everyone on the newspaper! I have not used a keyboard before because my mom does not let me but I came to write a...

Alternatives to an Irish Exit during the pandemic

But you really wanted to be there though! In 2019 the Irish Exit was simple: float out of a gathering you no longer want to...

The only way to stop a pandemic is a pandemic with a gun

The case for giving malaria a gun We’re all tired of this pandemic. The doctors have tried to solve this problem with their curve-flattening, freedom-violating...

Davis students conspire to take most expensive classes

“This costs how much?” According to UC Davis’ Schedule Builder website, “course material and service fees have been waived for the Winter 2021 Quarter and...

What’s the harm in ‘humoring’ Trump? We asked the ghost of Paul von Hindenburg to find out

History rhymes In the weeks after the 2020 election, an unnamed senior GOP official made the following statement regarding the Republican Party’s willingness to entertain...

SCOTUS has some fun for a change

Justice Kavanaugh asked to sit out Setting a landmark precedent for federal decorum, the Supreme Court of the U.S. (SCOTUS) voted on two measures last...

Trump critic gets COVID-19 after celebrating election in large crowd

Blames Trump On Oct. 2, 2020, upon hearing the news that President Donald Trump had contracted COVID-19, Ethan Matthews turned to social media to gloat....