Humor

Humor

Humor: What Davis would look like if we took it and put it somewhere interesting

January 28, 2018

Could we survive? There is an old saying that goes: If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, did...

Humor

Humor: “Winter Quarter is my favorite!” professes one student in a straitjacket

January 25, 2018

One crazed student is kicked out of school after sharing controversial opinion When the universe created winter quarters, it made sure that, no matter the...

Humor

Humor: Hell’s fire fueled by oil, U.S. military invades

January 23, 2018

We found all the extinct animals, too After the hardly surprising revelation that Hell’s fire is fueled by its vast underground oil reservoirs, the U.S....

Humor

Humor: Portal to Hell discovered in Olson Hall, doesn’t cover smell of rancid piss

January 22, 2018

Demons in classrooms may look like your friends — if you have friends, that is A portal to Hell was discovered in lower Olson last...

Humor

Humor: How to become a CoHo Gold Member

January 22, 2018

With these tips, you’ll be hacking the CoHo in no time! With Winter Quarter off to a quick start, many students are heading back to...

Humor

Humor: Applying to things other than college: what to leave off your resume

January 21, 2018

Not just the obvious stuff As some of you lucky students begin to think about what it’ll be like to escape this problematic sub-system known...

Humor

Humor: Research finds that impending nuclear war could actually be good for average already-dead American

January 21, 2018

Praise be to the Great Button The button sits on the desk of Our Leader, its extremely cliche red glow throbbing in the darkness of...

Humor

Humor: Tide Pods voted best snack of Winter Quarter

January 21, 2018

Forbidden fruit prevails as the students’ favorite food Tide Pods are the great mystery of America, with their delicious-looking colors and forbiddenness. Logically, we all...

Humor

Humor: New Year’s resolution: Don’t Listen To The Globalist Agenda Of Making The U.S. Men’s Soccer Team Better

January 18, 2018

This idea for self-improvement is so cute — and so easy! Perhaps you find yourself in the new year hazily gripping to reality through the...

Humor

Humor: Trump to end nut neutrality as eugenics program rolls out

January 16, 2018

Or does he mean crazy people? After a public spectacle during which President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence openly argued about their perceptions...

Humor

Humor: Bitcoin price inflation directly correlated with lack of parking spaces at UC Davis

January 15, 2018

Get ready to be so rich that you can buy a car and then have nowhere to park it Ever wonder what makes bitcoin tick?...

Humor

Humor: The festival of no lights: Celebrating the holidays in maybe the world’s darkest city

January 15, 2018

Davis’ very own holiday traditions Because the majority of the Davis student population took their finals and immediately escaped as quickly as possible in hopes...

Humor

Humor: How winter break drives you to insanity in 48 hours: a memoir

January 11, 2018

Relaxation and rest come at the cost of craziness and overeating Winter break, at a surface level, appears to be the height of luxury for...

Humor

Cartoon: When everything wants you to be merry but it’s finals week

December 13, 2017

By: Elliot White — opinion@theaggie.org Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual cartoonists belong to the cartoonists alone and do not necessarily indicate the...

Humor

Humor: Allegations arise that Dining Commons puts food in its garbage

December 13, 2017

Rats found in trash cans reveal that students have been wasting good meat Allegations have arisen that the Dining Commons puts food in its garbage. “I...

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